character - Ken (voice)

character - Jerry Kane

character - Narrator (voice)

character - Sydney

character - Self

character - President

character - Bill (archive footage) (uncredited)

character - Dave the Plumber

character - Pip

character - Steve Chaney

character - Ken Griffin

character - Bill

character - Norman (voice)

character - Dove Porter

character - Murray Thompson

character - Uncle Miltie

character - Narrator (voice)

character - Norman (voice)

character - Rick Kaepernick

character - Vex (voice)

character - Don Doolittle

character - Beef Tobin (voice)

character - Narrator

character - Self

character - Self

character - Ron Swanson

character - Ron Swanson

character - Forest

character - Zeb (voice)

character - Will Plimpton

character - Self

character - Self

character - Alan Whitcomb

character - Thaddeus Dowling

character - Narrator

character - Self

character - Dr. Gene Thibedeau

character - MetalBeard (voice)

character - Varvatos Vex (voice)

character - Metal Beard (voice)

character - Adam Chestnut

character - Felix O'Kelly

character - Self - Host

character - Francis James "Frank" Fisher

character - Henry Greer

character - Brad Pitt / George W. Bush / John Swartzwelder

character - Jackson Boudreaux

character - Self

character - Captain Covaci (voice)

character - Bruno

character - Jeremy Frost

character - Himself

character - Neo

character - Norman (voice)

character - Dick McDonald

character - Norman (voice)

character - Nick Offerman

character - Dr. Klorpins (voice)

character - Gavin (voice)

character - Moses

character - Buddy

character - Self

character - Mike (voice)

character - Spencer

character - Scott

character - Self

character - REI Dave

character - Greg's Dad

character - Guy DeLoach

character - Self

character - Sean

character - MetalBeard (voice / uncredited / archive footage)

character - Deputy Chief Hardy

character - The Home Depot Consultant

character - Voice of Narrator (voice)

character - Self

character - Karl Weathers

character - (voice)

character - Self

character - Self

character - Terry

character - Metal Beard (voice)

character - Self

character - Himself

character - Leo

character - Self

character - Doug Mannerheim

character - Frederick

character - Heners

character - Don Fitzgerald

character - Axe Cop

character - Johnny Cool

character - Sal

character - Frank Toy

character - Agent Powers (voice)

character - Self

character - Agent Parker

character - Deputy Chief Hardy

character - Dave Davies

character - Self

character - Self

character - Cooper (voice)

character - Pete (voice)

character - Clem (voice)

character - Jim McCarthy

character - Self

character - David George

character - Self

character - Meter Maid Man

character - Hoke Hollander

character - Scotty Mercer

character - Ron Swanson

character - Self

character - Dermott

character - Lt. Chance Briggs

character - Detective Chance Briggs

character - Simmons

character - Cop

character - Rob

character - Nick the Potter

character - Dr. Coffey

character - Burt Shlubb

character - Karl Steele

character - Officer

character - Joe Green

character - Tom Mason

character - Officer Roberts

character - Nick the Carpenter

character - Self

character - Big Guy

character - Officer

character - Electrician

character - Jack Whitman

character - Cop at Richard's House

character - Randy

character - Laredo

character - Marcus

character - Sheriff Panghorn

character - Cody

character - Beau Belleville

character - Man - Boardner's

character - Sergeant Channahon

character - Jerry

character - Samuel

character - Gerry

character - The Man

character - Nick

character - Construction Worker

character - Wilks

character - Self - Guest

character - Self

character - Self

character - Rog

character - Self - Guest

character - Captain Bowditch (voice)

character - Self - Cameo (uncredited)

character - Self - Announcer

character - Bobby Byrne

character - Host / Narrator

character - Mr. Fish (voice)

character - Chester A. Arthur

character - Jinx